Moved

http://evelynmak.posterous.com

My Utmost for His Highest

I've been using "My Utmost for His Highest" as a devotional since the beginning of 2010, and God's been using it to challenge and encourage me everyday. I remember when I first read it, I wanted to put it down because look what Oswald Chamber says on January 1:

"My Utmost for His Highest. 'My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed.' We shall all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus on the point He has asked us to yield to Him."

In my heart, in the ugliest shame, I started thinking and holding tightly to all the things I didn't want to let go of, afraid of God asking them from me and hoping that I can still live without thinking about this idea that I have to actually sacrifice in this relationship with Christ...

"God's order has to work up to a crisis in our lives because we will not heed the gentler way. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be out utmost for Him, and we begin to debate; then He produces a providential crisis where we have to decide-for or against, and from that point the 'Great Divide' begins."

I was so wrapped up in fear and the holding on to selfishness, I missed the truth in this. Really, praise God for the crises he has put in my life this year. Somehow, in drawing me closer he has extended my capacity for receiving his grace to let go of the things he tells me to yield to him. At first, I thought that God would take everything good from my life if I said "yes" but that is not what he has done (we all think so wrongly of God, how much it must hurt him). What he has done is, when in my fear and reluctance to trust him became blind and deaf and hardened of heart, bring about a crisis that forces me to choose. But, up until that crisis, he has given me every single thing I needed in order to trust him in all he is (faith) and let go of self (humility) to say "yes" in that moment.

God really gives us everything we need to be his children and to follow him.
His ways are above our ways.

-

Goodness, I have too much to write! I wanted to write about an entirely different subject (grace)... oh well. I stopped writing for a while because I thought too much about what other people (i.e. the readers, whoever you are :P) would think - well, not about sounding good but being useful. (I have an ungodly desire for feeling useful/being needed AKA being God to other people, but there has been large improvements made by the Great Architect in this matter of heart.) But, if we look to Christ, he will use us every minute of our lives to glorify his name.

Hopefully I will have a chance to articulate more of what I am learning in my soul a little while later, as I have to prepare for my short term missions trip (to China! Wuhan and Shenzhen) by packing and making prototypes of the crafts we will be teaching the kids there.

Much love,
Evelyn.

P.s. How ironic, I am at home alone while my family is at my church's family camp. Thanks family, going to FAMILY CAMP without me >:(. Haha, I really hope they have a blessed bonding time though.

P.p.s. I have a hard time deciding whether to italicize quotes or not, because I have a tendency on the internet to skim over quotes that are italicized. I am not sure if this is true for all people.

P.p.p.s. It's already 5pm but it feels like my day has just started! What a beautiful afternoon, I enjoyed the fresh smell of summer rain, sat at the feet of Jesus and listened and talked with him about some stuff I've been struggling with, vacuumed and washed mirrors and moved more stuff out of my room (my brother's taking over it and remodeling it over the summer since I'm going off to U of Waterloo next year), talked on the phone a bit with A, and now here. I am here, how beautiful life is.

Don't Waste Your Life

Everywhere I turn: "Don't waste your life."



To live is Christ and to die is gain.
What does that mean in my life?
What does that mean in your life?

Hope in the Wastelands

"Behold, I am doing a new thing;
   now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
   and rivers in the desert."
(Isaiah 43:19, ESV)

Oh... do you see this vision? Isaiah 55.

"Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD."
(Ezekiel 37:5-6)



There is a hope for new life
He fills our empty frames with His Spirit!
But don't hope without action - live in this hope.
Live everyday knowing that you will never be put to shame (those who trust in the Lord)
And act on this hope: ask God for a heart for Him and His people, and then dig into the Word, into His heart, knowing that He is already doing His work in you.
Focus on the task of obeying every time He calls, and you will hear Him more and more.
Focus on the daily task of laying down self and taking up the cross and you will find life,
Life to the full.

There is always more to learn! Always more to drink!
Infinite and intimate is our God.

Pray

Father,

I ask for a heart for your people,
And eyes that seek you alone.

I am so inconsistent: with prayer, with reading the bible, obeying you...
I am tired of being half-hearted about life.

I am hopeful for today, for tomorrow, for my whole life, because:
"I spread out my hands all the day to a rebellious people."
(Isaiah 65:2, ESV)

In Jesus' name, I ask for my own heart,
Amen.

Great Love

God will never turn his back on you, do you know why?

Christ died for you while you were at your worst and gave you life. Read that again: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Don't underestimate God's love: His love is greater than any sin we can commit... and it is by His grace (and not by works) that we are loved. God's love is greater than sin, than distance, than highs and lows; nothing can separate us from His love and He is always with us.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
       Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
       if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
       if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
       your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
       and the light become night around me
(Psalm 139:7-11)

Do you hear that? Where can we go where God will not be with us? When we are "good" He is with us, but listen, even when you think your darkness (sin, or whatever else) hides you, He still sees you: His light overcomes all darkness.

This was a lie I lived under for a very long time. I mean, I knew it wasn't true in my head, but I acted like it was truth: that God would desert us if we were bad, if we didn't spend enough time with him, but you know what? I actually... didn't have enough faith: I thought that my sin or not doing devos enough or (fill in blank) would push God away... or I felt that I had to "go to a certain place spiritually" in order to find Him, but NO he finds us AS WE ARE. And now I am free! Even as I sin, I don't have to hide in the guilt of the sin because I can go to Him right away and ask for help to change, ask to be changed. God knows, He knows! Don't hide because you can't. Be brave, allow light to reveal who you are and who God is.

I encourage you to read Psalm 139...
It changed my life.

Just Say Yes

God is working everyday...
Ever since I started praying for my family...
Through prayer God changes us and works - reveals it to us.

Last night I was praying for brothers and sisters, writing it down, and then for my brother
But the words for those brothers and sisters outnumbered by far the words for Josh
I was so, so sorry because how much my heart has not been with my family even though I love them-
How is it I don't know what to pray for? That I don't know him? Don't see him?

At that moment I felt the need, an urge, to talk to my brother
I was in the middle of my devo, "Uh... should I go now, or later?"
I was wondering if that was just because I was feeling guilty for not knowing Josh well,
Or if it was really from God: I sat there wondering but really felt the push
It came into my head that I was praying to know Josh more-
And here was the call!

I stood to go, felt the need to get my Bible and picked it up,
Wondering what was going to happen- was I going to have a BS with him?
It's been something I've been praying about- to fellowship with my brother.

His door was closed, so I knocked and asked if I could go in:
"Why?" and I was completely blank I just expected him to say "Come in"
So I said, "Uh... I don't know... Uh... just to... uh... talk...?"
And he said... "No." I was shocked- and a little hurt. I turned to go, saying "I did my job" in my heart

But I felt very clearly God was like, "Turn around. Do it again. Let him know you are there:"
WHY I feel so embarrassed he already said no, I look so dumb, I feel so dumb...
But ah, whatever is it about me? I guess not:
I knocked again and told him that I was available if he wasn't going to sleep.
Immediately I felt peace, instead of "I did MY job"
It was: God will take this small offering and let it go somewhere...

I went downstairs to eat fruit with my parents
And since I was holding my Bible anyways (darn God I really wanted to do a BS with Josh...), I just brought it with me
When I sat down, I felt a need to read the Bible with them
So I just opened up the Bible, asked, "Can I read?" ("Sure")
And after reading Psalm 139, I shared about how this chapter changes my life everyday
Ended up sharing about my own walk and everyday spiritual struggles
For a long time... we were blessed and my parents shared a little as well.

Afterward (already, this was such a blessing!)
This led to a good talk with my dad about my brother,
And also about an important lesson that I've been encountering everywhere:
To believe in GOD and not our convictions about or from God...
(see Genesis 22 - Abraham Tested)

One thing I struggle with a lot is being legalistic about my devotions and my faith...
Some days, I can sit on the floor with my Bible and read and pray for hours,
But other days I kind of force myself onto that "level"...
And I realized, while talking to my dad, that instead of leading my towards God,
This legalism is something that (at times) makes me fear going to God
Some days it is good to have that, but other days is it good to just have silence,
Or to be light, or to just listen, or to sing- God says rejoice always but this legalism of mine
Has hindered me from joy, my forced passion- I always end up in tears trying to get over this block
I didn't KNOW what the block was until last night when God revealed that part of my heart as Pharisaic

Not only in devotions- but in my attitude towards God.
I have been listening to the devil's lies:
(This is from My Utmost For His Highest)
That God would ask a woman for her son because she loves him too much...
This is NOT God's nature-
(This is from a talk by Jon Acuff, Stuff Christians Like's author)
That we must always give things to him like it is a chore
Like at a retreat the pastor, on the Saturday night where everyone feels very spiritual,
Will ask the people: God is asking for something in your life tonight! What is it you will give him?!
And we ask ourselves, "Hm... what can I give God, what can I give God..." and we go through our list
And "Ah! My boyfriend!"
That sounds dumb :) but for me it's like that... in my heart,
I see him as a demanding God, a jealous (in the human sense) God

But... no, Psalm 139: God knows me.
And everywhere: God loves me.
I must hold on to these truths-
To have faith in God and not in our convictions, even if they are from him-
(Again, see Gen 22... Abraham acted out of faith in God,
and not faith in his convictions or else he would have followed through
We must act out of faith in God
Or else we will become religious fanatics
And God isn't a God of religious fanatics- he is a God of freedom)

A week ago, I would have never been able to do these things,
To persevere in letting my brother know I am here and I love him
To make myself so vulnerable to my parents (sharing about my restruggles is never easy)

It was grace through faith:
God teaches us lessons- and these lessons always have a life- in your heart or in your hands
He asks of us what he has equipped us to do but which will still stretch us:
Sometimes the smallest, most mundane, ordinary things
And sometimes the craziest, most explosive things-

Whatever it is, just say yes, and just see how far God can take you with the smallest ounce of faith

Habits of the Soul

"After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For however important [the virtue] may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."
- C. S. Lewis

And, Psalm 139. Listen.

Remind yourself of His promises.

Come Awake!

Matt Maher, Christ is Risen.
Please listen to the chorus. Do you know what this means?!
Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake! Come awake!

I am learning more about how God has formed me; He gives us everything we need! This is a constant theme in my life, that He gives at His perfect time (perhaps He is preparing me for a long waiting later, when I will have to turn back and remember how He has provided now). My entire life... He gives blessings at the exact time when I am ready to receive in order to give them back. For example, I am still very prideful, but He has taught me that all my gifts, my talents? They are from Him, and are for Him and through Him. When I realized this: I was set free! I used to be bound by pride and guilt: prideful about my talents, guilt at the pride, so I would try to be "modest" (different from being humble) and I didn't know how to deal with the gift so I would rather not use it. But now... I am learning to use them as ways to worship Him and love others! How amazing! I am set free because I can enjoy my own gifts and talents, just as I would enjoy anyone else's gifts and talents realizing they are from Him and not because of me, who I am or anything I did. 

Come awake! Come awake! 
Are you sleeping? Do you know that there is more, so much more?
Do you know that if you try to keep your life, you will lose it?

To someone who left a comment about "just walking" many times and not being picked up:
I need to say sorry, (I am so sorry! Please read that again) because when I wrote "He will not pick you up from the ground, no, He will help you up as you overcome, you must start walking (faith) and He will lift you (grace) and you will fly..." I don't think I wrote it correctly. I read it in My Utmost For His Highest and I thought it made sense and sounded good, but I think it is misleading. I think it's more like this: Luke 5:17-26.

Full

Both my head and my heart are so full
I am feeling kind of unsettled right now
But at the same time... hopeful

So much I want to write,
So much I need to remember
And need to share

This week has been so... hectic
Every night up too late, every day too tired
I was going to say "I can't wait for this week to be over"
But that mind set is dumb: every day is a gift!

"His mercies begin afresh each morning"

That's My King

I just sent this video (That's My King) to my best friend and her response is overwhelming! Her awe reminds me of my own awe, her joy of my own joy, her faith of my own faith. It's just what I needed to keep on going... so many things to say about my king- words that barely describe him already put me in silence.

I've been avoiding the monologues-I've been sitting on the computer doing everything else. I've been eating grapes, talking on the phone, asking help for the monologues, getting ideas for the monologues, talking about the monologues but not actually doing them.

"I think I'm avoiding monologues... I guess I am scared God won't provide..." and do you know what she said? "GOD IS A PROVIDER, HE ALWAYS PROVIDE." What I need to do is: just believe. This is where I stop thinking abstractly about faith and live it out. Step one- just start. He will not pick you up from the ground, no, He will help you up as you overcome, you must start walking (faith) and He will lift you (grace) and you will fly...

P.s. God remembers us and who we are! He sends angels...

Uninspired

I am to write four monologues but right now I am feeling tired and uninspired.
I am thinking more about how good they will be ("Oh Evelyn! You are so good at writing monologues!") and wanting them to make an emotional impact ("Oh that monologue really touched me! Look! I am crying! What a good monologue!") instead of doing it for God or doing it because I love it.

Right now I can't connect to the characters: the prodigal son as he leaves, as he comes back; a person dealing with who God is; a person dealing with social inequities.

My mom just came back and I told her about it and she said, "Yep pray to God that you stop thinking about yourself." I hate it! I wish I wouldn't and I could just fly into what I like to do... I mean, I like writing. Goodness.

I think I'm so good at it and when I don't think about being good, I actually am (all praises to God because obviously I don't have the actual skill by myself as you can see now), but as soon as I want it to be good it fails. IT IS FAILING. FAILING I SAY! FAILING! I could write a song. Or... a monologue! Too bad there is no monologue "about a girl who fails."

I need to take a breather from the monologues. I've been sitting here faithless for too long.

P.s. now this is a good monologue. I'm reading over other monologues and they are so professionally and well written- it makes it so much fun to act because of all the layers, realizations, you can see the thoughts that are unwritten... anyways I guess I will just be level one. I'm okay with level one. I just want to finish... but finish having loved doing it.
P.p.s. perhaps I should leave it for today... there is still tomorrow. Maybe I will watch a movie. Or do some research for these monologues... I don't know. What should I do, God? Okay, fine, research it is.

Just Believe

"Don't be afraid; just believe"
Mark 5:36b

It is the most terrible thing: to just believe

That means we have to let go
Of everything; of our own ideas and plans,
Our own understanding of how the world works,
Of fear

That means we have to stop worrying,
That means we have to live in victory though we don't see it yet-
We know it already happened
And is happening every moment

That means we have to be ready to be moved-
To let God pull you out of wherever you are,
Not because you are not doing a good job,
But because you are starting to rely on yourself

That means we have to be ready to not be moved-
Sometimes we are without vision and without audience,
We don't know what to do, how to serve
And we have to get down to the unglorious task of the 'mundane'

But remember John 13, and remember how
After Jesus became flesh our bodies forever became temples
And after Jesus served
The least forever became blessed

Thoughts Right Now...

I am so distracted by thoughts of retreat and also a recent testimony by my parents...
I am so amazed by God!

Over the mountains and the sea,
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free...

I am actually enjoying homework right now-
I am too tired to give myself pressure and instead I am learning
Thank you God, my math test is postponed which relieves my burden
And reminds me that you are even in the smallest things

Life is so miraculous!
We fight chaos everyday, we take things for granted-
I never realized how much I accept what I know (language, my body) as all there is to know... but there is so much to learn, a vast expanse of more and more and more we will never be bored- but this works only if we actively seek it, seek joy...

I want to write about retreat SO badly because I want to remember everything
I want to cherish all these moments- mealtime conversations that warmed my heart and playing word games that really brought people together- God works everywhere. One of the biggest lessons I learned was this, "I am speaking to you, my child." Even his silence overflows...

BUT I must use my time wisely, and anything I need to write God will bring it to my mind
So, off to the wonderful world of biology.

I hate how in school, we get lost in the boredom of it and lose the fun...
I realize that I always want to reform the way we learn so we know why we need to know this and actually engage in learning instead of being so passive... I read about schools around GTA that are unconventional and my heart soars that this is real... I always think of jobs as for money, but I just ask that I have a job because I love it and know why I am doing it and that I am making a difference.

Today was so brilliant! My dinner was so, so delicious; the morning was calming...
I want to learn to love my school friends more and see them as God sees them. My love for them is so limited, many times I feel like I can't relate to them and everything is shallow-
But there is hope because God is alive.

I realized that I've been trying to reason that God exists and is good,
But really that is not my job: He will prove it himself as I follow Him...
I want my life to be used well! That is- my days to be used well.
Sometimes we forget- our lives are made up of our days...

What is "osteopathy"? GOOD QUESTION!
Now go do your homework, Evelyn, so you can find out...
God, I have so many things I want to do this week and weekend,
And all of them are for my own benefit/enjoyment...
So... yeah.

OKAY, BYE! Goodness gracious, Evelyn, leave now!

(...Okay).

Retreat

Since when did I have "21 followers"? This is so strange... I don't know, I feel like this blog might only make sense to people who know me. But if you do read this (and do or don't know me personally), then I hope you guys are blessed!

-

I just came back from fellowship retreat, and of course, of course: we don't want to leave and we just want to stay there forever. But I guess what we need to work on is instead of waiting for retreat every year, we should bring retreat into our lives...

Every year is a fresh and amazing experience and I guess I regret not writing about them before because I miss out on hindsight that memory sometimes trips us up on... So, I would really like to write down what touched me and helped me grow this retreat, but I have a lot of homework, so I will write about this later! I am excited to go through it again (in my mind) and also to see what I might have missed while living it.

Responsibility calls!
Love, Ev.

Given

We are given what we need

24 hours is enough for our work

There is a reason I have been allowed to wake up alive today

Everything else and just everything at all: God takes care

Silly Things

Life is layers upon layers,
I wish I could have put this in my previous post but it was so incongruous:
I had a good weekend.

My friend told me if you fart upside down it hurts,
The strange thing is, when I tell people this, they tell me it doesn't...
Now, please enlighten me, how on earth would you know?!

I have a food-baby (as R calls them).

Fair's new album, Disappearing World, has eaten my heart!
So many details... every time I listen it is new again.

Fear/Love/Hurt

FEAR/PERFECT LOVE
I've been concentrating on myself a lot lately,
Focusing on fear... fear that I am doing something that is offending God,
Fear- so that I concentrate on how I walk talk think-

Perfect love drives out all fear.

Drop your fear Evelyn,
Trust God, lay it at the cross,
And live in love.
I haven't done something just because I loved God
in a long, long time.

We have been called friends, sons and daughters,
And we do our work no longer out of duty (and fear) but out of love.
I need to stop thinking about it and go do it-
If we are in love with someone, we don't dream about them all day,
We call them, go out and eat lunch with them, do things for them.

I have been avoiding devotions out of fear.
Now that, my friends, is stupidity. My fear is holding back my love,
So I ask for help to build up my love higher than my fear...
And I refuse to stand by and not do anything waiting for my heart to magically change;
Instead I will do the job and- miracles!- I will be changed as I overcome.

HURT
There is a lot of hurt around me and I have not noticed,
What is there to say? I wish I could paint comfort, or sing it...
It is good to have a daily time to forget about myself.

Down

Tired, a little down...

I think I'm moving too fast and not getting enough rest to appreciate what is beautiful (and what is God) in all these ordinary things around me.

God will take care.

Amazing Grace

How many times have I sung "Amazing Grace" and not even realized in the slightest the gravity of the sweet word... How little I know and understand grace, but how overwhelming it is.

How many times do I wake up to my family, go to school, go to church and think only about myself... No wonder life is so frustrating, you reap nothing when you walk around thinking about your own expectations, instead of seeing through God's eyes and trusting in His hands. How empty, when you think about what you are going to get out of today, instead of what you can do to bless others.

How many times do I go through an entire day and not even remember once about Jesus' love on the Cross. I break my own heart- my forgetful mind, frightful tenacity.

How many times do I dwell on the past, worry about the future- allow Anxious Thought to cloud my mind in its sloth and vulgar murmur, that I forget to live in the present, the only place where I have Choice.

Choice. Today in English, we were talking about choice and how we have so much in our affluent industrialized western society that it in fact paralyzes us and decreases our welfare- not only that, it distracts us from the important choices in life: our attitude, our actions and words towards others, what we allow inside our heads. And the most important of all: dropping everything to follow God now.

And it all leads back to grace. We want to change ourselves so bad, to become patient with snail paced change, to learn to love in all circumstances, to learn to hope... but all we can do is choose to turn to God, choose to say Yes at that very moment, and everything else is up to grace: sweet, enduring, Amazing Grace.

What to say?

What to say?
Things are read from books but learned from hands.

The greatest promise:
As they days, so shall they strength be.
Deut 33:25

The past few days, I couldn't stop singing:
"I've got a home in glory-land that outshines the sun (oh, Lordy)
I've got a home in glory-land that outshines the sun
I've got a home in glory-land that outshines the sun
Look away beyond the blue!

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me (oh, Lordy)
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Look away beyond the blue!"

And... I have nothing else to say.
God bless you!

Brother

This almost doesn't make sense... why do I love you so much? (What will we do when I go? As you grow?)
This posture, minute gesticulations, these everyday expressions: they don't ever seem like much... But we understand more than we know, our hearts remember what gave it spring in the cold: caught in our fall.
You are my belly laugh, my deepest pain
May you love Christ!
Love, E.

P.s. "ohisee!"
P.p.s. But really I cannot believe I will not share the secrets of everyday with this little (big) ugly (beautiful) thing come 5 months, 5 years... He better name his children after me... He better call me everyday when I'm gone. Either or.

Studying...

Day 1, Friday
Math - Ultra-productive and equally boring

Day 2, Saturday
Math - Partially productive
History - Less than sufficient, internet proved fatal, then interrupted by Simon and Edmund :(

Day 3, Sunday (Today)
History - I am far behind but it is because the more I study, the more interesting it is! (Strange, I hated studying yesterday.) Who knew that memorizing the different figures of the Scientific Revolution could prove so tantalizing: my heart is in rapture of history. History is beautiful - it is a song, only made boring by tone-deaf teachers and uninterested pupils... I wish to know everything! Ahh, if only I paid more attention, took time outside of class... school is for learning. Goodness, and we can only learn if we make a choice to. Instead of only going because we are obligated. Stupid system. Stupid students (myself included). It's about attitude, posture... I wish I would learn/remember. Anyway, back to history. HURRAY!

Your Love is a Song

The past few days I've written half posts and then haven't published them.
I feel like I am learning so much- I am relearning what I 'know' in my head to be placed in my little heart, my small hands. How can I explain? Language is so limiting.

I wish to sing.

Switchfoot - Your Love is a Song

Reading

A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.
- Kafka

Reading is powerful and painful in its property of the personal. When I read, I create my own esoteric world out of inner imaginings. This allows me to explore; allows me to freely learn, be embarrassed and ask questions because I am rarely shy around myself. Thus, reading gives much power in its potential; it frees us to look at ourselves and create without needing to be conscious of an outer other. However, in its property of personal-ness also lies pain. It reveals to us some true depth of loneliness in the consciousness of self and of our state of alienation from the anything other. In reading, sometimes the worlds created are so pregnant with poignancy and beauty that I wish to share with someone else where I have gone, but, alas!, how can I? How can anyone else experience what I experience without being me?

(An excerpt from my "Why I read, How I read, What I read" Essay: Rough Copy #3. I don't think I am going to use this paragraph in the end, but at the same time I didn't want to lose it. So here.)

Reading is truly something else. Whereas films or lullabies can stimulate the creative imaginings, it presents a world already formed to your outer senses. We all see the same screen, we hear the same notes. But in reading one is understanding- one is seeing or hearing in the mind! But in reading lies the secret: the deep, deep secret of a self created world.

"I Love Deadlines..."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams

Haha! I like this quote. That is not me, in fact I am straining to finish my ETS creative essay on "Why I read, How I read, and What I read" which is technically due Tuesday, but really can be handed in anytime before the semester ends... but for me it's due Tuesday... or Friday. We'll see.

Live fully today!
And don't forget nor neglect the sanctuary of your heart.
Love, Ev.

P.s. Let me tell you a story. So, I invited a few school friends to witness my baptism two years ago. One of them, D, is very caring and bought me a lovely 31-day devotional called "In Quietness and Confidence... a daily devotional for the making of a Godly Man." Thanks, D, thanks. He didn't realize this, of course, until I told him a few days later. And then, he didn't even offer a receipt. Actually, I was curious as to what it was about and used it this morning and learned quite a bit from it. Today was Psalm 131: the stillness of the soul. He reminded me that, when I invited God into the home of my heart, he had carved out a soundproof room that I may enter anytime and be with Christ. Something I needed.