God uses me to make a difference!
I am more than nothing in Him.
Please help me with the 4:24 poem, I don't know what to write but it's all good because it's for You!
-
Up and down and all the time:
This flux and fleeting world of woe,
So much farther - roads of hunger,
Blur colours faster - farther to go.
But, how great is it to have a hand,
To hold and touch and feel the hand,
Upon your back - bones of flesh and hearts of strength -
To allow for you to stand;
How good it is to have a fire,
A warm and zealous, raving fire,
Upon your core - the heart of strength and soul consumed -
To allow for words inspired;
How awesome is this Hand of strength,
Fire commanded, frown and fine
Calming seas and hearts and mine
Gentle now - and there and here and forever and then.
April 28, 2009
April 22, 2009
Seek And Ye Shall Find!
Amazing: seek and ye shall find! Knock and the door shall be open unto you!
My parents attended this prayer conference,
And now we are all trying to pray everyday for half an hour.
After YMCA tonight, I sat on the couch from 10:00-10:30,
And I didn't even intend to pray for that long, but it happened,
like a natural conversation, I prayed and actually heard.
I was praying about how I really didn't know what to do when my friends are gossiping/mean-girl talking about other people at lunch. Should I say something? What can I even say? (Many times before, I'd pray about something that I planned to pray about, but now I pray about what is in front of me, to get it out of the way. The real problems are the daily trials, because God has the future and it is now that we always forget about; now that we have to change, not tomorrow; now that we have to stop doing this, start doing that - we are such procrastinators! Of everything! One more minute... next month... next year... when I am 17... in the summer...) So I just prayed that I didn't know what to do! And my Bible was right in front of me, and I thought "Wow, Evelyn." So I started to read Romans because I just felt drawn to it, and what I read was what I needed.
It reminded me that God knows me, truly, and sees me everywhere I am. That he has made me clean through his grace and that I need not feel guilty because his blood speaks for me. I have tried to use works as a way to deal with my own wrongdoings... I felt that God's grace was not sufficient but here it says it is! It is enough to free me.
Romans 8:6-8 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." I've been struggling with downloading music, and honestly so many people I talk to about it say "it's okay" and "everyone does it" but really, it is still stealing and is unholy in God's sight. I have been thinking so long to give it up, but I haven't been able to! I've been taking it out of my mind, convincing myself it is so small, it is nothing, but sin cannot be where God is. Anyway, it says those who are controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. And God commands us to love him with all our heart, souls, mind and strength... and I am not. I am being controlled by my own wants (as we all are born) but now that I read that verse, is it so reassuring that these things don't matter in the long run. Anyway, for now I am going to fast music/downloading/iPod/iTunes for May, because sometimes when I do devotions/pray music distracts me; also I spend a lot of time doing Album Art, looking for new music, etc.
After reading the first part of Romans 8, I came across a section titled "More Than Conquerors". This blew my mind away, because Simon sent me a song titled that, and I knew it was from the Bible but I never knew where it was from... I just started sighing, laughing, shaking my head and tearing up because it was a verse I highlighted a long time ago to help myself remember it/get through hard times and God just reminded me of his grace.
I am praying more and more... so many times, I forget to pray at school and that's when I screw up and I am impatient, unkind... but I am on an upward slope. Praying for many, many people right now, and somehow when I pray for them, a verse comes up that I can use, or I know what to pray for.
I said "I love You!" to God, and I just really pray and hope that I will do so through my actions daily. Pray for me!
Blessings to everyone,
Evelyn.
My parents attended this prayer conference,
And now we are all trying to pray everyday for half an hour.
After YMCA tonight, I sat on the couch from 10:00-10:30,
And I didn't even intend to pray for that long, but it happened,
like a natural conversation, I prayed and actually heard.
I was praying about how I really didn't know what to do when my friends are gossiping/mean-girl talking about other people at lunch. Should I say something? What can I even say? (Many times before, I'd pray about something that I planned to pray about, but now I pray about what is in front of me, to get it out of the way. The real problems are the daily trials, because God has the future and it is now that we always forget about; now that we have to change, not tomorrow; now that we have to stop doing this, start doing that - we are such procrastinators! Of everything! One more minute... next month... next year... when I am 17... in the summer...) So I just prayed that I didn't know what to do! And my Bible was right in front of me, and I thought "Wow, Evelyn." So I started to read Romans because I just felt drawn to it, and what I read was what I needed.
It reminded me that God knows me, truly, and sees me everywhere I am. That he has made me clean through his grace and that I need not feel guilty because his blood speaks for me. I have tried to use works as a way to deal with my own wrongdoings... I felt that God's grace was not sufficient but here it says it is! It is enough to free me.
Romans 8:6-8 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." I've been struggling with downloading music, and honestly so many people I talk to about it say "it's okay" and "everyone does it" but really, it is still stealing and is unholy in God's sight. I have been thinking so long to give it up, but I haven't been able to! I've been taking it out of my mind, convincing myself it is so small, it is nothing, but sin cannot be where God is. Anyway, it says those who are controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. And God commands us to love him with all our heart, souls, mind and strength... and I am not. I am being controlled by my own wants (as we all are born) but now that I read that verse, is it so reassuring that these things don't matter in the long run. Anyway, for now I am going to fast music/downloading/iPod/iTunes for May, because sometimes when I do devotions/pray music distracts me; also I spend a lot of time doing Album Art, looking for new music, etc.
After reading the first part of Romans 8, I came across a section titled "More Than Conquerors". This blew my mind away, because Simon sent me a song titled that, and I knew it was from the Bible but I never knew where it was from... I just started sighing, laughing, shaking my head and tearing up because it was a verse I highlighted a long time ago to help myself remember it/get through hard times and God just reminded me of his grace.
I am praying more and more... so many times, I forget to pray at school and that's when I screw up and I am impatient, unkind... but I am on an upward slope. Praying for many, many people right now, and somehow when I pray for them, a verse comes up that I can use, or I know what to pray for.
I said "I love You!" to God, and I just really pray and hope that I will do so through my actions daily. Pray for me!
Blessings to everyone,
Evelyn.
April 21, 2009
what is in front of me
i've been writing a lot lately
in notebooks, in emails, in my head,
so i am not sure what to blog about except what is immediately in front of me:
friendship bracelets
so many of them. they are getting better and better. i have made 20 and more already! at first, the ones i made for tcmedia were 4 stringed, but i realized that 6 or 8 strings are more fun to make and, i think, a little prettier. i don't know, it depends if they want it subtle or not. i have not asked rachel hon yet, i just realized. what colour would you like? i have all the colours and more. at least three shades of blue. electric, lapis, pale.
gross things
my dad just showed me an uncooked ox-tongue, it is so gross! speaking of gross things, i saw a pooh this long (at least a foot, maybe even more!) at school! i tried to flush it, but it was perpendicular to the toilet hole , so it wouldn't go down when i tried! so gross, but i couldn't stop laughing. another gross thing, the ground was littered with hundreds of earthworms! i think earthworms are actually beautiful in their own way, but it was so gross, having them spilling onto the sidewalk, drying up, dying, moving for moist environment to allow them to diffuse oxygen into their bodies (i like biology, yes. i am going pretty well in school, ptL. but most importantly i am enjoying school and finally learning how to study and how i learn).
my dad
he just sang "poor little gal, pooh-ar little gal! poor little fathah!" i don't know what he is singing about, but it's wonderful. i like the gloomy weather a little bit, i feel very cosy in it. and now, i will go help dad make some yummy vegetables for dinner and do a lot of work.
in notebooks, in emails, in my head,
so i am not sure what to blog about except what is immediately in front of me:
friendship bracelets
so many of them. they are getting better and better. i have made 20 and more already! at first, the ones i made for tcmedia were 4 stringed, but i realized that 6 or 8 strings are more fun to make and, i think, a little prettier. i don't know, it depends if they want it subtle or not. i have not asked rachel hon yet, i just realized. what colour would you like? i have all the colours and more. at least three shades of blue. electric, lapis, pale.
gross things
my dad just showed me an uncooked ox-tongue, it is so gross! speaking of gross things, i saw a pooh this long (at least a foot, maybe even more!) at school! i tried to flush it, but it was perpendicular to the toilet hole , so it wouldn't go down when i tried! so gross, but i couldn't stop laughing. another gross thing, the ground was littered with hundreds of earthworms! i think earthworms are actually beautiful in their own way, but it was so gross, having them spilling onto the sidewalk, drying up, dying, moving for moist environment to allow them to diffuse oxygen into their bodies (i like biology, yes. i am going pretty well in school, ptL. but most importantly i am enjoying school and finally learning how to study and how i learn).
my dad
he just sang "poor little gal, pooh-ar little gal! poor little fathah!" i don't know what he is singing about, but it's wonderful. i like the gloomy weather a little bit, i feel very cosy in it. and now, i will go help dad make some yummy vegetables for dinner and do a lot of work.
April 15, 2009
The Sky Is Blue Today!
Wow! Did you see that?
I looked up and the sky was blue!
It was such a pleasure walking home.
Yesterday, I was slightly put out walking home. I wanted to leave early, but a friend stopped me
in the name of being nice, saying 'don't go, don't go!' I ended up on the road home alone anyway, leaving the useless, bloating noise of the after-school conversation. I walked quickly and, irritated, I wished that my walk was shorter, my legs were longer, my steps swifter.
Today, I left without a goodbye. Walking quickly down the road, I looked forward; then left, right, left, no cars, and on my own way. I was suddenly reminded to look up. I did, and behold! It was blue! How magnificent, the sky is blue! I take it for granted, but it was cloudless and beautiful so I started singing. Seeing how the walk home was in the cool of shadows, I took a longer path through the park, and started skipping. I love twirling and I did it. There are so many words to describe unhappy things, misery, despair, anguish, bleakness, but only a few to describe good things. I don't know, it just felt good to take my time in the sun walking home. I even said hello to the people blowing leaves from my backyard.
-
Reading (done): Screwtape Letters.
I looked up and the sky was blue!
It was such a pleasure walking home.
Yesterday, I was slightly put out walking home. I wanted to leave early, but a friend stopped me
in the name of being nice, saying 'don't go, don't go!' I ended up on the road home alone anyway, leaving the useless, bloating noise of the after-school conversation. I walked quickly and, irritated, I wished that my walk was shorter, my legs were longer, my steps swifter.
Today, I left without a goodbye. Walking quickly down the road, I looked forward; then left, right, left, no cars, and on my own way. I was suddenly reminded to look up. I did, and behold! It was blue! How magnificent, the sky is blue! I take it for granted, but it was cloudless and beautiful so I started singing. Seeing how the walk home was in the cool of shadows, I took a longer path through the park, and started skipping. I love twirling and I did it. There are so many words to describe unhappy things, misery, despair, anguish, bleakness, but only a few to describe good things. I don't know, it just felt good to take my time in the sun walking home. I even said hello to the people blowing leaves from my backyard.
-
Reading (done): Screwtape Letters.
April 06, 2009
bragging and being
I think everyone is more beautiful the less they brag and the more they be.
It's funny how the two
should teach me lessons
in ways such as so.
-
I am struggling.
It's funny how the two
should teach me lessons
in ways such as so.
-
I am struggling.
April 01, 2009
the like of you (P16)
i must say,
i have quite not the like of you
as rocks eat up the how of soon
as we ululate to the sleepless moon
as the sun burns to the tune, to the tune
so i've not quite the like of you
i must say,
i have quitenot the likeof you
as flowering rocks turn july to june
as we remember the shadows of noon
as sunburns plastic and papers spoon
so i've notquite the likeof you
i must say,
i have quitnote the lifoke you
as rocks pregnated swell and swoon
as we are killed by that of goon
as sunward turning burned balloons
so i've notquite the lifoke you
i have quite not the like of you
as rocks eat up the how of soon
as we ululate to the sleepless moon
as the sun burns to the tune, to the tune
so i've not quite the like of you
i must say,
i have quitenot the likeof you
as flowering rocks turn july to june
as we remember the shadows of noon
as sunburns plastic and papers spoon
so i've notquite the likeof you
i must say,
i have quitnote the lifoke you
as rocks pregnated swell and swoon
as we are killed by that of goon
as sunward turning burned balloons
so i've notquite the lifoke you
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