Seek And Ye Shall Find!

Amazing: seek and ye shall find! Knock and the door shall be open unto you!

My parents attended this prayer conference,
And now we are all trying to pray everyday for half an hour.
After YMCA tonight, I sat on the couch from 10:00-10:30,
And I didn't even intend to pray for that long, but it happened,
like a natural conversation, I prayed and actually heard.

I was praying about how I really didn't know what to do when my friends are gossiping/mean-girl talking about other people at lunch. Should I say something? What can I even say? (Many times before, I'd pray about something that I planned to pray about, but now I pray about what is in front of me, to get it out of the way. The real problems are the daily trials, because God has the future and it is now that we always forget about; now that we have to change, not tomorrow; now that we have to stop doing this, start doing that - we are such procrastinators! Of everything! One more minute... next month... next year... when I am 17... in the summer...) So I just prayed that I didn't know what to do! And my Bible was right in front of me, and I thought "Wow, Evelyn." So I started to read Romans because I just felt drawn to it, and what I read was what I needed.

It reminded me that God knows me, truly, and sees me everywhere I am. That he has made me clean through his grace and that I need not feel guilty because his blood speaks for me. I have tried to use works as a way to deal with my own wrongdoings... I felt that God's grace was not sufficient but here it says it is! It is enough to free me.

Romans 8:6-8 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." I've been struggling with downloading music, and honestly so many people I talk to about it say "it's okay" and "everyone does it" but really, it is still stealing and is unholy in God's sight. I have been thinking so long to give it up, but I haven't been able to! I've been taking it out of my mind, convincing myself it is so small, it is nothing, but sin cannot be where God is. Anyway, it says those who are controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. And God commands us to love him with all our heart, souls, mind and strength... and I am not. I am being controlled by my own wants (as we all are born) but now that I read that verse, is it so reassuring that these things don't matter in the long run. Anyway, for now I am going to fast music/downloading/iPod/iTunes for May, because sometimes when I do devotions/pray music distracts me; also I spend a lot of time doing Album Art, looking for new music, etc.

After reading the first part of Romans 8, I came across a section titled "More Than Conquerors". This blew my mind away, because Simon sent me a song titled that, and I knew it was from the Bible but I never knew where it was from... I just started sighing, laughing, shaking my head and tearing up because it was a verse I highlighted a long time ago to help myself remember it/get through hard times and God just reminded me of his grace.

I am praying more and more... so many times, I forget to pray at school and that's when I screw up and I am impatient, unkind... but I am on an upward slope. Praying for many, many people right now, and somehow when I pray for them, a verse comes up that I can use, or I know what to pray for.

I said "I love You!" to God, and I just really pray and hope that I will do so through my actions daily. Pray for me!

Blessings to everyone,
Evelyn.