2Chr20:12

"we do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help"

the next two weeks will be scary
but i am already at peace because we have won
and all we have to do is fight for our predestined victory

what else is there to live for?

hermetic

periods tell of what and how;
i fell down the stairs yesterday,
in more ways than one.

my heart, my heart
a hermetic heart
sealed shut, airtight.
it does its part,

it runs, it runs
from truth. it tells
with fancy prose.
it swells; to hell

i run, i run.
You walk on water
clear to red,
and crown to slaughter.

an immature heart
bruised, battered, airtight
i walked on the left,
and you were quite right.

God is Good, As Always

oh, i am longing for so much more.
thank you, this is the heart i want!

God is so good,
he knows me, every single part.
He gives me everything I need;
he gives me pain and he gives me joy.
And everything is "unto the Lamb, who sits on the throne."
And I really am afraid in the back somewhere,
I am always, always afraid. But the thing is...
God is good. All the time.

Wow.

God has given me so, so much.
I MUST give it back.
I am very, very weak and always, always afraid.
But this will to give it back is so much stronger,
and it's not a feeling it's a knowing in here AND in here.
And I will fall, so please be his hands,
as you already are.

I was kind of scared for TC Media, but:
I am not God!

And God, who is God, is good.

NTS: EQUIP YOURSELF.

I want to say all theses specific examples,
But right now, I just want to share my JOY.
I am going to go pray, I wish everyone would have this JOY,
and that is why I must cast aside myself.
I have no idea how to really do that,
but I know, I KNOW,
Always, the moments, the pains and joys, the humility:

God is Good.

hurting back

i am losing things i love to do.

life is good - painful and joyful,
i don't want to write about it and just be.

poems iv

three more poems:
november, december...
february.

i grew each month, now that i look back.
staring at my feet, it seemed like i did not move at all.
but really, i was picked up and had flown.

please,
enjoy

hit so fast (P15)

today.
i was hit very hard by a metaphor,
and then saved by God

hit so fast by anxious thoughts
of forward falls and autumn awnings
he swore in sign, the grey girl yawning
i moaned of pregnant clouds

hit so fast: my speech impaired-
take back last, 'tomorrow's hollow'
my breath borrowed, yest'day's swallow
i swore to mist-ate crowds

hit so fast: my bones dried red
blood-like fingers scripted murders
playing roles of great white herders
more oft' than most allowed

the people are crying, thinking, dreaming (P14)

december 1, 2008:
it is cold outside, and i am thinking of a book.

how can backs bent straighten
untouched is his tear, it is open
bent and broken, right over unspilled
the coffee beans are dissolved and

how can cried creeds remain
against the cool of insecurity
of airplanes crashing in mid freeze
winter cold and the orange fray and

how can thoughts of thinking unravel
when mysteries within themselves
are confounding conundrums,
i dream, i think, of you.

the scientist (P13)

november 25, 2008:
listening to coldplay.

sitting in shades of brilliant colours
reddrops are falling from mars
lying beside you, words circle the ice air
"you don't know how lovely you are"

trying on sweaters five sizes my difference
woven similarities, ours to claim
warming our backs on the back of your heater
"you don't know how lovely you are"

writing the letters across the piano
melodies from the five cent fingers
songs are sung, in the dark of street lanterns
"you don't know how lovely you are"

blue slumber calls you into the sun
equations make sense no more
sweet last kiss, yours are my honest wings
"you don't know how lovely you are"