ethernights (P18)

touch my skin
touch my skin
oh, the moon! touch my skin
lightly drape yourself around me
like the memory i am in

just my neck
just my chin
a light web to take me in
entangle me all unawares
in ether-breeze of know and whim

oh it's heavy
but it's sweet
the salty taste of nectarines
rolling down my deep valley-face
a new road for traveling

All My Friends Are Eating A Lot Nowadays

I feel like I am in a time of suspension.

Exams are still here...
Summer is waiting...

Enjoying life now, but won't miss it too much.

Rain, rain, I love it when you're here,
And I love it when you're gone!
All weather is all weather.

My stomach is getting flatter while my friends get fatter!
(I can hear the fans just singing along...)
Okay, that's not true. My friends are not getting fatter.
However much they eat, they seem to stay the same. Huh.

"Harshband"

Dad comes in, "Oh my Son! Sun-Sun-Sun!"
| "Josh, why does dad love you so much more than me?"
Dad goes out and comes in again, "Oh my Son! SUN-SUN-SUN!"
| "He even sings about you."
...
| "Dad, why are you so mean to me but so nice to Josh?"
"It's my job. I am a harshband."

I really love my family;
Let us grow! Let us flourish!
Every time something bad happens we always grow, learn, apologize, forgive, love: praise God.
Without him, we would be nothing.

I finished Genesis and Exodus. I got into Leviticus and, like many others, failed after the first few chapters. But... as I was reading it, it was so eye opening to see how delicate approaching God was/is. We cannot flounce in boldly. They had pages and pages of (numbing) detail on how to honour God. It is strange to think that God does not change. The love he has he had and has. He is still just... and terrifying... reading about the 10 plagues made me shiver. And... I wish we had regular Bible Studies at church to really learn a little about each book. I remember back at NTCAC we did Genesis... and every week we had to say a "God is..." or else we weren't allowed to leave class...

Exams are wonderful! Studying is actually enjoyable... with my windows open and the sun rushing into my open arms, neck, toes. I have really, really cute toes. Today was a new day.

I forgot to do my one hour today. Going to do that now.

Hard Tuesdays, Clear Mind

Working hard: studying for five hours everyday and enjoying it very much.

Playing hard: making the most of many moments spent with amazingly unique people; even walking home is a game. It seems to take longer and longer each day to walk because of the things we talk about/make fun of/laugh at/sing/make strange noises like (or not like, since it isn't anything I've ever heard before).

Exploring hard: so engrossed in the Universe and the sheer size and magnificence of it. Oh, these DK books. Have you seen those nebulae? How small I am. Doesn't it make you still to think that this is happening (or, technically, happened) while we are thinking about trivialities?

Disciplined: Exercise (jogging in the mornings, push ups and sit ups mixed in with weird yoga stuff every so often, a few times a day), an hour for God a day (a challenge from Crazy Love Sunday School this week). Balance: at least what I can do about it.

Exploring hard: so engrossed in the Bible and the sheer size and magnificence of it. Starting to understand the love for this book. I want to know God more. I want to love more. Be equipped. Be ready to speak. Be still.

Building hard: Family. Working hard at building my own part of the bridge. When I make Wor Teep with Crystal, we were just complimenting each other so much on the food and just saying how good it was in general. When I made it for Josh, he didn't even say thank you. I see so much of myself in my brother, it makes me sad. Learning to tell my parents everything. Trusting them and having them pray for me. Having them keep me accountable. Must spend more time with Josh though.

Things have never been better. I can think, my eyes aren't muddled, my head not clogged. I can breathe, I can run, I can spell words wrong at the top of my voice, I can kick doors open and be a ninja leaving the school, I can be ugly and be loved, I can do things now, I can let go of pride of stupid things. I am missing some of my favourite people, I am spending more time with others, I am thirsty but I got a thermos now, even though it leaks like mad, I forgot my agenda but it's okay, I don't care, I care so much; I am myself and comfortable and learning and stumbling in the best way.

Clap your hands, all ye children.