God will never turn his back on you, do you know why?
Christ died for you while you were at your worst and gave you life. Read that again: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Don't underestimate God's love: His love is greater than any sin we can commit... and it is by His grace (and not by works) that we are loved. God's love is greater than sin, than distance, than highs and lows; nothing can separate us from His love and He is always with us.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me
(Psalm 139:7-11)
Do you hear that? Where can we go where God will not be with us? When we are "good" He is with us, but listen, even when you think your darkness (sin, or whatever else) hides you, He still sees you: His light overcomes all darkness.
This was a lie I lived under for a very long time. I mean, I knew it wasn't true in my head, but I acted like it was truth: that God would desert us if we were bad, if we didn't spend enough time with him, but you know what? I actually... didn't have enough faith: I thought that my sin or not doing devos enough or (fill in blank) would push God away... or I felt that I had to "go to a certain place spiritually" in order to find Him, but NO he finds us AS WE ARE. And now I am free! Even as I sin, I don't have to hide in the guilt of the sin because I can go to Him right away and ask for help to change, ask to be changed. God knows, He knows! Don't hide because you can't. Be brave, allow light to reveal who you are and who God is.
I encourage you to read Psalm 139...
It changed my life.
