Reading

A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.
- Kafka

Reading is powerful and painful in its property of the personal. When I read, I create my own esoteric world out of inner imaginings. This allows me to explore; allows me to freely learn, be embarrassed and ask questions because I am rarely shy around myself. Thus, reading gives much power in its potential; it frees us to look at ourselves and create without needing to be conscious of an outer other. However, in its property of personal-ness also lies pain. It reveals to us some true depth of loneliness in the consciousness of self and of our state of alienation from the anything other. In reading, sometimes the worlds created are so pregnant with poignancy and beauty that I wish to share with someone else where I have gone, but, alas!, how can I? How can anyone else experience what I experience without being me?

(An excerpt from my "Why I read, How I read, What I read" Essay: Rough Copy #3. I don't think I am going to use this paragraph in the end, but at the same time I didn't want to lose it. So here.)

Reading is truly something else. Whereas films or lullabies can stimulate the creative imaginings, it presents a world already formed to your outer senses. We all see the same screen, we hear the same notes. But in reading one is understanding- one is seeing or hearing in the mind! But in reading lies the secret: the deep, deep secret of a self created world.