beauty is the wisps of snow

OUTSIDE

it so, so beautiful

the wisps of snow

blowing fast and ferociously through the wild

over the pond that is a jar of ice

across the field that is frozen

and it is like magic and it is science and it is God

it is the flying away of a thin layer of snow

across the ice water, creating crystals and wings

it was so fun! running through the snow

as idiotically as we could, i even fell

and feeling as if we were saving polar bears

and just being free in our zipped up coats

like eskimos, like a grade three child

who didn't WANT to zip up, but we did.

back home,

i shovelled snow for the walk

and even a bit for my neighbours,

but i was scared they would come out

and peer upon me with new strangeness

i wanted to be unknown, and it felt good.
it feels good to do good, to make good

to be good, and not be recognized.

INSIDE

when i got in, i went upstairs and realized

that my legs were entirely frozen

but my tingle toes and feet were hot

and touching my foot to my thigh crossed leg

when i was washing my feet in the sink (i like to do that a lot now)

it felt like i was connecting something incomprehensible

hot blooded toes and numbed thighs, two enemies or lovers;

i felt very beautiful.

LOVERS

today at civics, it felt very good to just

relax and sit and laugh and talk about nothing

and realizing this nothing talk was not to fill the silence

not just a conversation, but a comfort.

i said that i wanted a guy who could sing and play guitar

and evangel said that it was twilight brainwashing me,

but it isn't. what i meant was, i want a boy, a man

who appreciates the beauty of simplicity,

someone who would sing even if they suck a lot,

some smiling person who would grow with me,

some person who would let me try and understand,

some running through grass boy,

someone stroking my hair.

i don't know, these are all things that aren't really what i am looking for

but just something to add to the heart,

i know! but i can't voice it!

i don't really want to talk about guys right now,

though it's always a subject that's easy to get into.

BREAK

so this break, i don't want to stress myself about bfh

but i don't know how i can do it without stress

God, help me. this isn't about the marks, after all.

what can i do for you today?