today was a bit rocky

GOOD MORNING,

SNOWY BANKS & STUDY BOOKS

this morning, i was in touch with reality.

i was grounded, and i was light,

like i could be lifted by a breathe.

i get this feeling what i am disciplined

and when my elbows don't ache.

LAST NIGHT,

BROWN CUSHIONS & GREY'S ANATOMY

yesterday,

i was talking to a close friend.

her life is very, very broken.

she was back with someone who hinders her growth,

she talked about clothes like it was a part of her identity,

she talked about music as a saviour from the silence.

i was in such pain watching this,

and everytime i wanted to say something,

i didn't

because it was not for me to say anything,

but just listen.

i cried to God, please save my dear friend!

i do not know what to do! i was aching:

i want her to have life to the full;

in touch with reality,

in touch with her identity,

in touch with God.

but, God's timing is perfect,

he really knows who we are and what we need.

this morning, my devotion was

"The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

yes, i may cry. yes, i shall pray!

but it is HE who will fight, not i,

and i shall hold my peace.

AFTERNOON,

THEY HATIN' ON THE 80s

i had such a great anthropology exam;

studying was fun! i learned a lot of things,

i was just reading and wikipedia-ing everything,

and coming up with random things like:

THE DEVIL'S SWIMMING POOL (search it up, i want to go)

i found glasses in the basement,

and i wore them, but no one really liked them.

i didn't really care, because i liked them.

how wonderful life is, to find glasses like these.

i hope you see this evangel.

TONIGHT,

I CAME UP IN ASHES AND BLOOMED.

tonight was very bad for me,

i could not help but judge,

but i am not better, and if i point fingers,

then i point fingers at God who sent him.

i am much less than him if we count works and years,

much, much less.

i prayed that my pride would not take a hold of me,

that it wouldn't become a foothold for the devil,

so God took me down so i could look up to him.

all my conversations were useless

and a little fake, and i just wanted to be alone.

so i did go off by myself, but people came

and i didn't really mind. it's just,

hopefully people understand my being alone,

doesn't mean i'm lonely.

and sometimes, there's no need to come.

and sometimes, there is.

it's up for discernment or guesses.

having a reltaionship with God is so good!

you can touch base with the Light of the World

at anytime! all the time! i am still a baby,

and am not able to do that.

growing is touch, the process if hard, but so, so beautiful.

then i was afraid of satan,

that he would attack God through me through the ones i love.

but God told me, three hundred and 65 times:

Do Not Be Afraid. and oh, fear of the Lord

is so great! we can face anything in the world.

HOME,

THE RISING SUN

coming home,

something bad happened,

so then i cried.

i webcammed with my parents,

who are down in panama,

and i told them i just wanted a hug,

and a kiss, and look!

i understand why messengers do what they do,

i don't feel angry, i just want these games to end.

HOME,

MAYBE, SHAME NOT

i meant my 'sorry', but that's okay.

guess i need to mean my words to gain

more trust around the world.

someone encouraged me all through exams

and becoming fully human... he is an angel

i guess he knows how to be a 'gentleman'

and we won't connect on a deeper level,

(mentality & thinking process is so different)

but that's good: i don't think, i know.

what a lovely friend!

GOODBYE,

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS EVANGEL, YOU HATER