my world right now

i hate being in a world
where i can't talk to strangers
and if i help someone , they'll be surprised
how cold of us , lighten up .. like a lamp .
it's not that hard , just find your button
baby let it burn .

one
in the morning , we put boobert & joe's world in the sun
and left them there . when we took them back
boobert was dead . and i was so so sad . i couldn't believe it .
one moment , he was so ALIVE and MOVING and SEEING .
i held him . and the next he's lifeless , dead weight , meaningless .
i cried so so much because life is so precious and those who choose
to take life away doesn't understand ! they are loved .
i hope everyone knows that when they die , someone cries .
whether it be your mom , your best friend , the earth , the sky , God .
boobert died and i cried . and now i am okay , but i just ..
it's no one's fault but it's everyone's fault . he melted into himself .
he died BLIND and it's so sick it had to happen that way .
sorry boobert . i really loved that snail , you know .
i really loved him and now he's dead . if he wasn't mine i wouldn't care .

two
i realize that the people i own are the best people in the world (mine)
if they weren't mine i wouldn't love them . before , i was so sad
that if i wasn't my parent's child they wouldn't love me . but they love me
because i am theirs . isn't that amazing ?
my dad was walking in a store carrying his laptop and i was in the car
and i saw his retreating back and i realized I LOVE THIS MAN !
he is MY dad . and my MOM . and my BROTHER . i am fortunate to be able to love .
some guys think crying is weak . this makes me sad . I AM SAD ! ( i quote myself)
but john chu cries so i think that is good . (manly tears , of course)

three
i went to a thrift store today and bought almost new chucks for
$2.50 (i know. what?)

x

tomorrow is school . i want to be a nerd . i hope to have good teachers
but i know i will learn how to learn if i have bad teachers . i wish i could go to africa now .
i wish i had a good camera . i wish i was a good singer and a good guitarist
so i can be a singer/song-writer , like those cool people with myspaces & youtube accounts .

but God gave me this body and mind so i am perfect as i am
thank God for that . i hope my husband likes me .