i might be okay now

crap i can't blog

it hurts when the person that you want to cry to

is the one who won't come 

sorry i'm not lashing out at you

i'm just . hurt . that's all .

it's cos like , you haven't come to so many things

and it's like

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME COS YOU LOVE ME ?!

and i know you won't . just because i said that .

don't read any further i don't think you will

i don't know .

i don't know anything

today i was thinking , do i have any real friends ?

i guess you are .

wow this is STUPID . i'm like crying in front of my computer screen

it's like the first time tears have just rolled down , i'm not sobbing

i thought i just got over it and i was like that was quick

but it's stupid anyways .

stupid stupid stupid .

just when i thought i was open

i close myself . stupid stupid stupid .

and it's my fault anyways .

i don't even know .

I HATE YOU

i wish i could say that

it would be so easy

but i don't

i love you still .

i am stupid .

i am human .

i am how i was made .

perfect for being myself ; imperfect .

what can i say ?

i can't be mad ever .

i wish i could .

it would be so easy to be cold .

to isolate .

to not cry .

too bad i am me .

good day .

i am making this out to be bigger , it shouldn't matter , but it does .

you hurt me a lot . i'm sorry i didn't concern for you before

i thought of that , you know ? after wards i was like , wow i treated them badly .

and i thought i could make it up this time .

fine , just fine .

i think i will be better in the morning .

in the bible it says "don't stay angry ; don't go to bed angry"

and i think in the morning , it will all go away and i can talk to you in the face and not burst into tears .

i wish i never told you about it , rejection hurts .

i hope you read it all so you know how i feel

so i don't have to say it again ; and just go on