tired, excited, MUSICMUSICMUSIC!

i talked to my mother last night and we digested our love and spit it back out this morning. i love my mom, she's like my best friend. but old. and wise. and so so pretty. i talked about my friendships and my friends' problems (LOL!); and she talked about her old boyfriends and their problems. problems problems problems! they bring us together sometimes.

 

the weather outside is dreary. i vacuumed my room this morning and they are cutting grass outside -  it's very loud, it was very loud, until i shut the window and cranked my music up.

i can't stop thinking about my mom; she has the purest heart! sometimes, i'm scared the world is going to claw at her and tear her apart; the world is so cold and she is the salt and light. i think she is so fragile. we're probably the same. we're the same.

i'm listening to the classic crime; beautiful band.

today rachel is coming :) is as crystal. ho yeah! haven't seen those men (baha) in the longest! i've missed them, shed a tear here and there for our physical distances. getting a haircut today (with rach)! want it to be emo to the max :D :D :D. i used to have so much hair; what happened? :(

i love the beginning guitar for "Say the Word" - The Classic Crime.

it goes like this: doodooDOOdoodoodooDOOdoo, etc, etc, etc. but it's amazing.

and the song "Headlights" makes me so happy and sad.

I JUST REMEMBERED! - i really wanted to write about it this morning, when i woke.

this morning, i woke up

and i felt so forlorn and lost;

i missed something in my dream that i couldn't hold on to when i woke up

i truly do not belong to this world, i missed whatever galaxy i came from

i miss my Father's arms, i remember them holding me

holding me, holding me, holding me.

nostalgic for my home across the farthest expanse

i feel like a pirate, always out at sea

the crazy beautiful terrible sea.