clothes, styles, identity

i realize

that i have over 40 tshirts in my room currently

and that's only tshirts .

i am partially proud and partially disgusted with myself .

do you notice people only go "whoa, that's a nice shirt"

when it's different ? like , you see an a&f sweater not a lot of people would say

hey , that's a nice sweater . i mean , the quality is amazing , the prices soaring

and yet when you find a piece of scrap from a shaggy vintage store

throw it on with something funky , someone goes up to you and says

the words that make you smile

it's weird , why do you say "thanks" when someone says your clothes are nice

i mean , they are your clothes , but it's not like you designed them ,

nor did you sew them , or stitch them piece by piece

what a conundrum

unless of course they mean that you pieced it together

so the colours beautify each other the materials rub

your appearance well uplifted by simple things gone haywire

and all the while we just want to be naked

and not judged

i am going to go

and return some clothes

to their rightful owners

and figure out with to do

with the rest of my things .

ridiculous

ridiculous

Jesus

i have a best friend

i love You .

i want to laugh , because i have so much to say !

but i really should just shut up a little a lot .

and listen , and not be a hypocrite

and see that people are just

like me . and that i am

not alone .

LIFE IS AMAZING .

my eyes are continually opening

and i wonder how i lived so blind yesterday

when today was brand new and looming and small

it's like a shout of YES !

and i am still so so blind and small .

what would i give up ?

merely everything ? it's hard 

it's easy . ridiculous .

why do i grip so hard

when the right way is

to let go . and take matters

into Your hands .

what Love .

wow my crayfish smelled

thank You for my nose

it makes me laugh

and want to hit

my brother .

good life

the difference

( between best friends and family )

i think a best friend has an obligation

to be nice , to be truthful , to have to be careful where they tread

to lie to you sometimes , to give it all they got , to trust you

i think a sister has no obligations

they do the things they do because they love you

they HAVE to love you

no matter what you share the same blood

they have no choice ; they can shun you but you are still ever connected

by the invisible string until the day you die

and reach heaven or feel hell , where earthly relationships exist no more

it's a fine line , but a big difference

i find it offensive .

good day

ps : i have an interesting topic to blog tomorrow