October 28, 2009

24 is Enough

"We need more time in the day!"
We joke about that a lot, but really
We need to use the time we have wisely.
I mean, if we were given more time, we would just do the same things, but for longer...


Lately, my entire day has been homework or projects.
And that means I get less sleep,
And that means I don't spend consistent time in the morning with God,
Which leads to more worrying, more stress, more control
And when I say more control, I mean I want more control,
And I try to control, but really it is not in my control,
And I am allowing control to control me,
And worrying leads to even less sleep, which leads to less time
For myself, for my family, for my fellowship; in silence,
Which leads to guilt, which leads to less prayer,
Which leads to less trust, which leads to where I am now.

Oh, it's good to put things into perspective.

I cannot help but look at every day, every class and think about my marks,
Especially in Studies in Literature where you are never sure,
But really what I need to do is enjoy my classes, do my best and leave the rest up to God. It's hard to do that when I have slipped into the state I am in. Gotta get out, gotta get up.

It's so hard! I want to explode.
Instead, I will go to the Y. Eat dinner.
Pray. Sleep.

Listening - The Most Serene Republic, "Emergency Performance Art Piece"
Reading - George Orwell, "Animal Farm"

October 20, 2009

Sideline Face

It is the toughest to stand and watch the ones you love / move to something you can't follow
I am just a sideline face / watching their race
And the weather changes constantly

October 09, 2009

Trust In You

Psalm 56:3 | Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.

Sometimes, it's just so strange how many things we hold on to and forget to give up to God. Homework has been pressing on my mind; it's taking up a larger space than it needs to and I wasn't even aware until today. I am afraid for every assignment; it's good I am actually trying my best but honestly I am just going to do my best and not forget that, though I am a student, I am also a sister, a daughter, a cell-group leader, a Christian, a human being who really needs to exercise.

Dinner and Desert | Went to Moxie's with my two only-ones and then went to Demetri's for a FAT, FAT waffle (wow just typing that gave my stomach a little flip of pain). It was just so relaxing, so good to be true, so warm and comfy. So immature and real. There's a certain posture we have with each other that is honest. We talk about nonsense, but we are communicating love.

FamJam | My entire family is so tired; my parents have Sunday School, Retreat Workshop, and Night School (teaching all three) and I have homework, homework, homework... (my brother is young and still care-ish-free) I am anticipating FAMILY RETREAT this Sunday-Monday. Setting time for something very important... (prepare for an inspirational blabber!:) is very important.

Listening - Coeur de Pirate, "Pour un Infidèle"
Reading - You Shall Know Our Velocity!

October 01, 2009

The Clowns (P19)

Ah, the staring of the clowns
Eyes move up
Travel down
They don't notice that they drown;

Ee, the talking of the clowns
Lips so big they are renown
Kissing ruse, through and through
Crowds of many, two by two;

I, observer of the clowns
Smell their sweet
Hidden deciet
Empty calories drag you down;

Oh, the crying of the clowns
Rushed mascara dripping down
Yearly trends will daily bind
Silly things of silly kind;

You, the clown, the clown, the clown
Hear me shout
Turn around
Deafly stand until you drown.

Parents at School What What What

Hey, today my parents came to school to talk with my guidance counselor and I. It was so great, we prayed out loud in Chinese in front of the main office before going in, and we passed a lot of staring visual arts students...